yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize