it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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