Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
