You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
