Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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