none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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