At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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