I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
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When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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