When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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