Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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