i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
