i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
