That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
