I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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