Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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