the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
