Me too!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
