I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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