quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
