You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
