i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
