there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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