meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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