I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
