he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
