I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you would pick up someone in the library
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
