Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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