I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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