Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
