The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
