i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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