Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
