i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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