Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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