If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
