so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
