This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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