I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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