Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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