whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You need Xanax blowdarts
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
