Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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