chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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