2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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