Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
