Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
