Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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