My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
