question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
