you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
