when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
