He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Can I color on your dick again?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
