Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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