Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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