The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
