Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
