nut hugger
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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