I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
