Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You ate ashes out of my bong
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
