i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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