Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
