Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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