Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
