If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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