Whatcha textin bout Willis?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
