Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
