there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
